Exerting Self-Control Is Not As Difficult As You Think!
Posted: Saturday, May 03, 2008
by Sulagna Dasgupta
Love in India
I guess just like me, you too at times find yourself unable to exert enough self-control. This is probably the biggest challenge for anyone who wants to lead a life of purpose.
It all comes down to willpower, doesn't it? And yes, it is hard. But here is some good news to make you feel better about having to exert self-control.
Now did you know that whenever you're able to exert self-control successfully, you set off a very powerful virtuous circle? What I mean is that, whenever you're able to stop yourself from doing something you know you shouldn't do, the probability that you'll be able to stop yourself the next time you feel the urge to do it, increases manifold.
Ok, let me give you an example (again!). Let's say you're trying to lose those extra pounds, and finally, one day, you did manage to convince yourself to walk past that delicious cake. Now the next time you try this, you'll have to exert much less force to make yourself do the same again.
It works this way because, once you've done it, your subconscious knows you can do it. That makes exerting that bit of control a LOT easier, cause as I said, from the second time onwards, your mind is already conditioned to be able to do it.
I've experienced this effect personally, many times. I can guarantee you too will feel that way once you've tried it.
You must be thinking, "But how do I do it the first time?"
Hey, haven't you guessed already? Why did I tell you all this? Ok. It's easier the second time. That would mean you'd just feel it once you have a second go! What's the use of knowing this?
It is only this, that this should give that extra boost that's necessary to make it possible for you to do it once!
Come to think of it, what's the major challenge we face while trying to exert sheer willpower? We feel miserable. We feel miserable not to eat cakes and pastries, not to smoke, to stop watching TV and go do our homeworkAnd we think that if we have to make this change permanent, that miserable feeling will become permanent too! That's why we're afraid of trying even once.
But now we know that we'll feel this bad ONLY ONCE-that is for the first time-and never again! That should make us feel a lot braver while facing that challenge. And that, I'm sure, will do the trick!
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Your article has lots of merit to it. Good work. Can you enhance this "virtuous circle" by associating your mind set with the type of positive mind set you're trying to emulate. Many times the people we interact with in life are subconsciously radiating their own negative spheres of influence. They may or may not be aware that you're trying to change your way of thinking about things. If you can create your own social circle of like-minded individuals your success rate will improve dramatically. It's all in the way you change your conscious and subconscious ways of interacting with life. Usually a close friend, spouse or confidant can help you acheive the goal you seek. Consciously creating your own like minded group of intimates will help you feel less guilty about changing the way you feel and think about things!Thanks a lot, Mr. Charbonneau for your valuable advice. Like you, I think the best way to stay positive is to stay away from negative people as much as possible. Even if you are unable to avoid a few of them, you should try your best to ignore whatever negative thoughts they might try to infuse you with. Thanks again for commenting!
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