Sulagna Dasgupta

Relaxation and Sleep Techniques That Actually Work



Posted: Tuesday, August 05, 2008

by
Love in India

You're busy.

As busy as one could be.

There's your work-deadlines, meetings, a screaming boss, performance reviews

Then there are your adolescent kids.

And finally there's the new fitness program you've joined.

So all in all you have too much on your plate.

I know you're concerned. You're worrying about one thing or another most of your time.

Anxiety is your constant companion. You're unable to find ways to get out of its clutches. At times it feels like a horrible prison from which there's no escape- getting smaller all the time, choking off all chances of breaking out.

Every night when you lie on your bed waiting for sleep, you have the most terrifying experience. Everything that has gone wrong in the course of the day comes back to you-only now they look bigger, cause besides their deadly claws and poisonous teeth, the beasts have now got fancy tails. If the memory is that of a failure the tail says, "I'm good for nothing. I'll never succeed." If it's that of being treated unfairly, the tail tries to match saying, "This is an unjust world. I'll never get my due."

You've visited sites which offer you advice for free, and products for a nominal' price, which profess to get you a peaceful sleep.

You've listened to life-changing' CDs.

You've read books.

Nothing has worked.

Hmm. I guess, unlike pizzas and Pepsi, sleep was not meant to be sold.

"Then how on earth can I fall asleep? Sleep doesn't come to me the natural way-the way it was meant to come!"

Let me tell you, that's the only way it can come.

But yes, it comes only to tired people and animals-the ones who need to sleep.

"What do you mean I'm not tired? I work like crazy throughout the day! Add to that my mad workout in the gym."

Oh yes, in theory you're tired. But is your brain tired? No, it's thinking hard.

Are your nerves tired? Do they want to go to sleep? No. They're on tenterhooks.

So all your body knows is that you don't want to sleep, and that your brain's working hard. And being a loyal servant of yours, it faithfully keeps every trace of sleep away.

If you want to sleep you have to relax. Period.

Now how do you do that when the natural tendency of your mind is to wander off to the most unpleasant memories and make you anxious? Here's the easiest and most practical approach that I've found in my search for relaxation techniques. In my case, it's really worked like magic, even when I was the most anxious and worried. So here we go without wasting more time:

  • Physical relaxation: Lie on your back and close your eyes. It's better if you can avoid using pillows at this stage. Consciously relax all the muscles in your body. To do this, think of the different body parts one after the other. It'll go something like "Are my fingers relaxed?...YesMy palm?...YesMy upper arm?...YesMy legs?.." In this way, make sure your whole body is completely relaxed.
  • Imagery: When your mind crams up with worrying thoughts, systematically lead it away from there. The best way to do this is to lead it to some pleasant thoughts. Your mind loves pleasant thoughts and memories, so once there, it'll not move away. Think about something pleasant and also completely unrelated to whatever was bothering you. You might recollect your last vacation by the sea, or a cozy and happy afternoon you'd spend reading, or watching your favorite movie with your family. It might also be an imaginary experience-a safe and peaceful one.
  • Vividness: Make this image as vivid in your mind as possible. Conjure up sensations of sound (Example: that of water flowing), touch (the cool breeze caressing your face), smell (the grass, the forest, the salty air of the beach) and taste (cool white wine) to give life to your mental image. Remember, the more real this image is the more relaxed your mind will be.
  • Deep breathing: Take slow, measured deep breaths. Count the breaths. Say "One", "Two" etc. every time you exhale. This will make sure your mind doesn't get the chance to wander off to some negative thought.
  • Spiritual relaxation: If, in spite of using the counting technique you're unable to control your mind, it's time for spiritual relaxation. Acc. To this technique, you keep breathing deeply while thinking consciously having spiritual thoughts, i.e. thinking about God or religion. You can also think about your purpose in life, who you are and what you want to do for others. This will calm your mind, and most importantly, take it out of the whole context of your worries, namely your material life.
    • While I've talked about these techniques mainly as sleep strategies, they work equally well as simple relaxation techniques, which can be used any time you're anxious or under stress. All you have to do is find a quiet place, sit straight and follow the techniques. I've personally benefited a lot from using these techniques. I hope they'll work for you too.

    So that's all for today. Here's wishing you a happy journey towards a stress-and-anxiety-free life.

    Log on to www.loveinindia.co.in for answers to all your relationship related queries. Sulagna can be emailed at sulagna@loveinindia.co.in with individual queries and requests for specific love and relationship related advice. She replies to every one of such emails, and all of this is free.

    Sulagna is also an MBA from the Indian Institute of Management, Ahmedabad. She is currently pursuing her Double Degree in International Management from the University of Bocconi, Milan.

    This Article has been viewed 481 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
    Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)
    » left by Chiradeep
     3 years 158 days ago.
    85 fans. Follow Chiradeep on twitter!
    Sulagna! Great article! If you add 'Paryer' in 'Spiritual Relaxation' I think it will be nice. When you depend or rely something or somebody greater than yourself, I really feel relieved. Its psychological as well as spiritual. Prayer - talking to God, is really necessary for all sorts of problems.
     
    May God bless you...
    » left by Sulagna Dasgupta 3 years 158 days ago.
    24 fans. Follow Sulagna Dasgupta on twitter!
    Thank you so much, Candles! Actually what you've mentioned-prayer-is exactly what I meant as 'spiritual relaxation'. It's so nice of you to mention the word.:)
    » left by Anonymous
     3 years 146 days ago.
    Thanks for the advice. I'll try to put it to use.
    » left by Anonymous
     317 days 11 hours ago.
    I have read all of your articles, but I enjoy this one the most - I think because of the very detailed instructions you included. Thanks!
    » left by Sulagna Dasgupta 317 days 5 hours ago.
    24 fans. Follow Sulagna Dasgupta on twitter!
    Hi Anon,

    I'm really glad you've found time to read all my articles. My greatest reward is to know that you find them useful in your life. Keep reading! :)
    » left by ushnish
    from mumbai     307 days 11 hours ago.
    good one
    We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.